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August 9, 2003

Warbaby says:

The Homeland Security Agency's color-coded terrorism alert system is producing a muddle of confusion, according to a yet-unreleased report by the Congressional Research Service.

The New York Times reports:

A new Congressional report has found that the government's much ridiculed color-coded terrorist alert system is so vague in detailing threats that the public "may begin to question the authenticity" of the threats and take no action when the alert level is raised....

The report's authors cited, but did not necessarily endorse, criticism that "when federal officials announce a new warning about terrorist attacks, the threats are too vague."

"The vagueness that characterized the four increases in the threat condition in the past two years has raised concerns that the public may begin to question the authenticity of the H.S.A.S. threat level," the report said. "Questions about the credibility of the threat, say other observers, might cause the public to wonder how to act or whether to take any special action at all."

The Homeland Security Department has acknowledged that the system, which went into operation in March last year, needs adjustment.

See the article here and a later Washington Post article here.

Fortunately, World In Conflict has found a solution for this grave national problem:  The Homeland Security Advisory System Neighborhood Awareness Program (HSASNAP.)  You too can play your part in the War On Terrorism (tm).

The kit consists of a handy set of color-coded buttons which display the current Terrorism Alert Level (tm).  Not only is it a great conversation starter, but it also allows ordinary citizens to fully participate in the panic and uncertainty gripping our nation's fearless leaders.

 

Heimat Sicherheitdienst Novelties Gemütlichkeitsamt (HSNG) has been producing these items since early in the year.  They got their rollout at the Ship Of Fools show opening at the Blue Horse Gallery on the first day of April, 2003.  The exhibit was accompanied by an HSNG agent who spoke to us on condition of anonymity.  "The HSASNAP [pronounced huh-suh-SNAP] is a valuable addition to the war on terrorism, don't you agree?," he said.  "Of course, only an Al Qaida-loving terrorist sympathizer would fail to see the usefulness of this product."

The HSNG agent refused to confirm allegations that failure to purchase the HSASNAP would result in arrest and detention by the HSA.  He did confirm that the suspects so far taken into custody have been treated "humanely" during interrogation, but hinted that the recalcitrant are being forced to watch Barney the Dinosaur to deprive them of sleep, saying: "We have found Barney a valuable ally in the war on terrorism."

 

World In Conflict has been able to obtain a small number of these valuable items.  Contact us for information on price and delivery.